Matchmaking to Marriage: What to Do When She Wants a Wedding

1-Marriage-CertificateSo you met your missus on a dating site. Perhaps you used one that is ranked as one of the top websites out there for matchmaking lovers looking for relationships. But you know very well that dating online reviews are fishy and that not all matches lead to marriage. Most women are typically marriage minded and if they aren’t when you first meet then there’s a stark possibility that they will be some day. Some women you might meet don’t want to get married at all which might be great for you if you’re a bachelor who isn’t interested in settling down or just not the marrying type. In the case that you are or aren’t, it can be tricky to avoid clashing at certain times when you do find a girl that DOES want to get married eventually.

Women that are interested in immediate marriage or within the first three months are clingy and put too much weight into feelings that they aren’t truly ready for. Some people can pull off getting married that fast but you probably aren’t one of them. Normally marriage will come up in conversations after you’ve moved past other milestones or are hitting the two year mark in your relationship.

Consider Your Own Desires

2-imagesMen are typically known to be the fussy type who don’t want to get married and want to live freely. Girls, however, are typically known to be obsessed with their wedding and the horse that you’ll carry them away on and the huge wedding cake, the doves flying, and an opera singer serenading you down the aisle. You run the risk of running into one of these girls who knows what she wants and how to get it by making you melt in her hand. What you need to consider, though, is what you REALLY want.

It’s perfectly fine if you’re a man who dreams of a lavish wedding or of getting married at all. If you feel like you are ready to get married and love the woman who wants you to pop the question then nothing is stopping you. Marriages that are based on someone wanting it while the other party does not, however, are unions built on shaky ground.

Is it Too Early?

There are times in a relationship’s beginning where everything seems magical and you could just run to Vegas and get hitched right then and there. These feelings are supposed to occur and they are the great emotions you feel when everything is perfect and you have high ideals of someone and they haven’t been faulted yet. These feelings will wear away eventually. That doesn’t mean you love someone any less. It just means you’re being more realistic; you’re seeing someone for who they are and you’re showing them your own true colors.

If you haven’t even made it past this point in a relationship yet then there is literally no point in getting married. If you haven’t seen each other at your worst, lived together, and actually made it past a year then your marriage shouldn’t even be considered. It’s way too early to make a commitment to someone when you barely even know who they are.

Planning Ahead

This isn’t to say that marriage isn’t completely off the table. Explain to your partner that marriage is terrific, just not right now. If you aren’t comfortable with the idea of getting married within a few months of the conversation coming up then you should explain that you want to wait until you’re sure.

Some people take this kind of rejection very personally and it can damage your relationship. If that is the case then pay that person no mind. If someone is going to try to guilt you into getting married then you don’t need to be with them anyway. If they’re just hurt because they don’t feel good enough, explain that they are good enough but that both of you need to grow into a marriage and not just dive in headfirst.